Take that stupid band-aid off. Just because you got a couple stitches, doesn't mean you can go Country Grammar on us. City Spud got out of jail last year. Maybe that gold-digging wife of yours gave YOU the STD. But what were you doing with her to get that shit under your eye?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Let's pose a question. How many of you guys were actually 'hip-hop' heads when the first Reflection Eternal album, Train of Thought, came out? Raise your hands for a yes. I'll give y'all a second. Okie doke. Now, how many of you actually liked Reflection Eternal when they came out? That's more like it. For those of you who don't know, Talib Kweli & DJ Hi-Tek are Reflection Eternal. They came with hits like 'The Blast', 'Good Mourning', 'Too Late' and 'Love Language' as a part of the hip-hop collective Rawkus Records. Do your research kids. But anyways, they're rumored to have been collaborating on a new Reflection Eternal album for years. Finally, here's one of the first leaks. They even featured Bootsy on the track. Have a listen to the hip-hop mastery kids:
Now, I've always been one to defend artistic freedom, but this is ridiculous. If this is your interpretation of the BOMB, then you have mental problems my friend. It seems as if suicide bomber has taken a new meaning.
Go kill yourself.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
So you guys finally admitted that you are NO LONGER A SKATE SHOP!!! It's long been time for you to hop off the skateboarding bandwagon like everyone else and are just trying to make money by producing 'limited' apparel and other stupid shit. I never knew so many mundane household and personal items could be so commodified and made into collectors items just by putting the word Supreme on them. I thought t-shirts, pants, dress shirts, hoodies, skateboards, hats, lighters, ashtrays and keychains were enough. But now you guys have scented candles, rain jackets, can openers, lanyards and pocket knives. You might as well just become a knick-knack store! (daydream clouds enter) A high-end knick-knack store, complete with a copyright symbol, 5th Avenue location, racist doorman, and vaccum-sealed atmosphere. I can see it all now (daydream clouds clear). Later for now, though. I have to go get my spot in the line outside your store so I can have that brand-new Supreme © weed-whacker I saw in the Summer 2011 catalog!!!
You must be feeling pretty good now. Not only did you prove yourself to be a greater dickhead that we already knew you were, but you also cemented yourself as the most selfish player in NBA history. Starbury, you even put that crazy tattoo on your head to make you the second dumbest athlete behind Mike Tyson. I don't even mean to gas you up, but you're the only player I know to drive two franchises (Nets and Knicks) into the ground before leaving them. Seriously though, Steph, I don't know what's worse, your $14.99 sneakers or the clothes that went along with them. I guess Steve & Barry's had a little extra incentive with MSG conveniently right down the block. But you know what Steph, I'm not one to harp on the bad times. Let's take a look at some of the times that made you everyone actually think you actually had some talent in you:
Ok, I'll admit it, I'm a nerd. And a juvenile nerd at that. But no one can blame me for this. As a 7-year-old boy, one of my favorite shows was the Transformers. When they came out with the first movie, I was a bit skeptical (see: 'GhostRider' & "Batman & Robin'), but after the 143-minute, CGI-laced, comatose-inducing thrill-ride that 2007's Transformers provided, I'm excited for the sequel. Anywho, here's the trailer for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. Enjoy, kids.
Monday, February 23, 2009
RUN!!! Get the hell out of that backstage room. Before your eyes are the group of fools called the crew. Nowhere near being famous, these people are subjugated to a minor role behind a bigger, more famous rapper (i.e. Weezy F). Some stay for the promise of somehow making it big in their own right (Lloyd Banks). Others stay simply for financial reasons, putting out subpar albums (Killa Cam) and creating marketing ploys to stay in the limelight (50 aka Ferarri). Some even stay because their affiliation to said rapper is so financially motivated that they could be one hit away their whole career, but as long as their alive they're a millionaire (Memph Bleek of course). Whatever the case, Drizzy, get away from the YM crew now. You don't wanna be a lackey for the rest of your career, especially if you have to deal with those negroes every day.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
This is the last time I can do this. Around this time of year, after All-Star Weekend and about three weeks before the NCAA Tournament begins, my basketball watching becomes religious. When I say religious, I mean there is constant watching, talking about and overall thought on basketball. With that being said, I have one question: Who picks the games? Every week I'm subjected to at least four games with either the Spurs, Cavs, Celtics, or Lakers, with many times being a combination of one of them. It's like the NBA can't dismount them (or the stars on those teams, for that matter) For once, I wish the NBA would televise national games with ANYONE but those four teams. But you know what, there are ways to get around it. I'm sure as hell gonna watch the Clippers - Blazers game at 6 PM on http://atdhe.net. Check the site out and give the NBA the finger by watching other teams for FREE, people. Gotta go play ball my damn self. BROOKLYN... ZOO!!!
No, I'm not about to commit suicide. It's my first Junk Mail post. I wondered what I would make this section of Dear Whoever, and I decided this would be new websites and completely unrelated shit that didn't fit into the other labels. Yeah, it's basically a miscellaneous section, but I feel like you don't get enough junk mail. Coupon Clippers all day!!!
But anyway, here it is. I got introduced to this website by my homegirl Amanda and it's the realest shit out here. Fuckmylife.com is a user-submission site where heads just write about moments where they have to say 'fuck my life'. There's nothing better than laughing at other people's misfortune; maybe your own, actually. I wouldn't even ruin the fun by telling you about the best stories. Enjoy, people.
Friday, February 20, 2009
It's a rarity that I would do a Catalog post about anything other than clothes. However, this is too good. Porsche has finally decided to join the rest of the car world and produce a sedan, and a sports sedan at that. The Porsche Panamera oozes sex, which, of course, is why I picked it for today's Catalog. It has the traditional Porsche back with a swept forward chassis. a turbocharged 4.8L engine pushing 500hp and one of the plushest interiors I've seen in a minute. I guess I gotta start saving soon.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Greetings from Pensacola, Florida, where apparently one burglary suspect didn't get the memo that sagging, baggy, oversized jeans are OUT. This fool was caught with his pants down, literally. Robert Pittman, 37, broke through a convenience store window to steal a couple dozen packs of cigarettes. Unfortunately, he had so many cigarettes that he couldn't hold up his pants, and tripped over them before he could make it out of the store parking lot.
Gotta bop like this,
can't wear baggy jeans,
cuz my waist too slim...
Seriously though, kids. Either pull your pants up or wear a fucking belt. Nobody wants to see or smell your asscrack, unless of course you're gonna be in jail like our friend from Pensacola.
Now, I've never been one to hop on the whole 'rapper creating a clothing line' bandwagon, because most of the time it's either poorly done, or entirely too expensive. However, one of my favorite groups, The Clipse, is putting out the second season of their line Play Cloths. A lot of people say that it's a BBC knockoff, when in all actuality, they need to just dismount Pharrell and realize that he didn't start BBC of his own laurels. Nigo just spoonfed him enough shit for him to regurgitate onto his own t-shirts. PC isn't as fruity as BBC or as repetitive as Bape. Plus the logo is extremely dope. But that's neither here nor there. Here are a few of my choice pieces of the Spring 2009 Play Cloths lookbook.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Negro, you need some new ideas. How many times can you make the same damn song, thinking you're going to make bank off of it? I've got a newsflash: YOU ARE LATE ON THE AUTO-TUNE BANDWAGON!!! Not to mention, you do it so badly. I've never heard a chord of music that sounds like a group of cats dying from inhaling helium. Maybe you should learn how to use the machine before you release that regurgitated crap you call music.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Greetings from Hartford, Connecticut people, where apparently police shot and apprehended a chimpanzee after it attacked a woman. The chimp, Travis, was kept as a pet by a 15-year-old boy and mauled a woman visiting the boy, before turning on the boy and two police officers coming to ease the situation. You know times are getting crazy when people start raising chimps like they're kids. Travis could use the toilet, dress himself, take showers, eat at the table, brush his teeth, watch TV with a remote and check e-mail. That's impressive considering the chimp has Lyme Disease. Apparently, this isn't the first time our primal pal has been caught up with the jakes. Dude escaped from his owners in 2003 and had to be lured back with cookies and ice cream. He sounds like a fat-ass kid more than a chimp. I hope PETA doesn't start a fund for chimps in legal trouble.
This bears an eerie semblance to Rodney King.
Hey people, this is a drop that's near and dear to my heart. My boy AKZionz out of the DMV (D.C., Marylyand, Virginia area, for our geographically challenged friends) FINALLY dropped his new mixtape AKZionz ReAKZion. Here's the link and my picks:
Cream of the Crop:
Fanfare for AKZionz
Making Noise (ft. G5)
Cream of the Crap:
none this time, this is a personal friend
Of the 10,000 streetwear brands, this is one that I actually fucks with. Their style is unparalleled and their designs aren't retarded like Supreme or repetitive like Stussy or Hundreds. Their Spring 2009 Lookbook is out. They're gonna be dropping their Spring line on February 17th. You better get there before the resellers do. Take a look at some of their new pieces. I'm definitely feeling the white/red t-shirt.
Damn, I guess you wish you were still a lonely stoner. KiD CuDi's Cleveland ass was attacked with a taser over NBA All-Star Weekend. He apparently was adverse to wearing Reebok sneakers in lieu of Jordans and engaged in a shouting match with Reebok officials... that is until they called the police on him and had him arrested. Blog fame doesn't mean diplomatic immunity, buddy. Maybe you should try showing the corporate heads a little love and then I'd be more excited to see you perform at the Yale BSC. Then again, who was going specifically to see him, not the Cool Kids, anyway? Word to Chuck English an Mikey Rocks. At least these guys know how to evade stupid legal trouble.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Big L (1977-1999)
Big L was a man among boys in the mid-90's golden age of hip-hop. He drew rave reviews and cool points from them hood folk for his gritty subjects, effortless punchlines, and chain complex rhyme schemes. His death in 1999, from a shooting on the 139th Street he always referenced, cut short the career of a would-be great. It also ushered in the era of these clowns:
Before the trials, failed groups and crack addictions...
Big L was a legend in his time. Peep the magic:
You must be feeling the heat right now. I guess that first scene in "Stomp the Yard" was wrong. Dude really can throw down. Too bad it might have been on Rihanna. They might ban Chris Brown's music in Barbados, Wrigley and Got Milk? pulled his advertisements and he had to back out of an appearance at NBA All-Star Weekend. Boy, the recession is gonna be hitting hard for Chris Breezy if he doesn't pull a Dr. Dre soon.
This guy has been killing it since his critically acclaimed mixtape Comeback Season. I guess wheelchair Jimmy had a little more to offer than bagging up every chick at Degrassi. He needs to tone it down with the singing though. I know dude can hold a song down with his voice, but he needs to just rap!!! Maybe that's a little selfish, but heads need to stick to what they do best.
Cream of the Crop:
Successful (ft. Lil' Wayne)
Unstoppable (ft. Santigold & Lil' Wayne)
Ignant Shit (ft. Lil' Wayne)
Say What's Real
Cream of the Crap:
Little Bit (ft. Lykke Li)
Bria's Interlude (ft. Omarion)
Here's the link, kids:
How about you guys actually ask actual fans who they want to see for the contests and activities during All-Star Weekend. Besides the Rookie Challenge and H-O-R-S-E, this weekend has been sub-par. If Sun Yue got any burn, China would vote him straight into the All-Star Game. Not to mention, Allen Iverson's barely keeping up with John Salmons in scoring, robbed Devin Harris of the start in the ASG and shaved his head.
The Last of the Mohicans
At least we got to see the worst 3-Point Shooting Contest ever!!! Which one of these guys is actually shooting over 45 percent?
Even the Dunk Contest was wack. Rudy Fernandez pulled something even worse than Nate Robinson's 200-try dunk in 2006: A tribute "jersey" dunk that nobody recognized and no one wanted to see after his 15th attemp. Dude didn't even finish his dunk until after time was through. He had more chances than OJ. Here's what the dunk contest should have been:
I guarantee you, NBA, that that contest will shit on that snore-fest I saw last night. And won't have men looking like this:
These are ridiculously ill. I'm beginning to think Reebok and other big companies have been listening into my conversations with my friends. First 'Ms. New Booty', and now the 'Seven Deadly Sins Pack'? The idea is fire. I just wish I was getting paid for that shit. Each of the seven Reebok Pumps in this pack is a different color, each ascribed to one of the seven deadly sins. Adam, Josh, Dev, you know what it is...
I'm feeling the red ones. those are Wrath. But the ones I really want are the teal ones for Envy.
You guys really know how to waste helpful portions of my day. So you finally decide to renovate this dungeon of a campus, but simultaneously inconvenience me every day on my walk to my classes and wherever the hell else I need to go. No need to worry though, at least I'm constantly breathing in fresh dust as I walk by the library or have to dodge cars when I go to the Dining Hall. I sure love living in Crossings too. The broken elevators and horrendous internet service make me feel right at home, especially when I'm canned in like a sardine with my roommate in that cave of a room (you can tell it's a cave by the conspicuous lack of light or the fused stalactite column robbing me of any space I might have had). But hey, maybe I'm crazy, but paying $1.65 a pop for laundry that doesn't actually get cleaned. Who would think that we're getting nickeled and dimed even in the place we live?!?! Only $48,000 a year!!! And for an 89th-ranked education. Boy this recession is hitting hard!!!