To anyone reading this, this is clearly a touchy subject. So take this letter with a grain of salt, rather than take my rhetoric as me being a proponent of domestic violence. Here goes.
Rihanna, you were never really that much of a pop icon to me. I saw you go from a Bajan dancehall-pop artist (somewhere in the realm of Sean Kingston), to a regular R&B-pop star, to a 'pop icon' (as Mediatakeout and MTV like to call you). I never really minded your career, but I always seemed to have a disdain for your music. Now, when the story and the pictures detailing your domestic run-in with Chris Brown, I was somewhat skeptical. Not only does Chris Brown seem like a soft dude, there were rumors on top of rumors that you were jealous, controlling, and had hit Chris on numerous occasions. No one but you and Chris were in that car when he allegedly (well, now, reportedly) beat you up. However, I'm willing to put money on the fact that Chris' meltdown was not completely of his own volition.
When you think about domestic violence, what do you think of? Exactly. A man beating a woman. However, who's to say that this tenet couldn't be reversed? So many times in society, we place the onus of being the bigger person on the man in the relationship, when the woman is just as responsible for the turmoil. So many times, as a society, we allow sensationalism to cast an improper shadow on people. So many times, we allow double standards to cloud our vision into thinking that the man is always the bad guy. Not to say that Chris Brown was not in the wrong, but where is any investigation on your part in the incident, Rihanna? Who's to say that you didn't provoke Chris at all? I'm sure that ANYONE would get pissed if you were hitting them up while they were driving. Women, and the matriarchal black society that we live in, are so quick to point the finger, that even before anything was proven, Chris was already guilty. In this day and age, if you get mentioned as a domestic abuser (guilty or not), you will never be able to scratch that off your record. Chris Brown may have laid not a finger on you, but will be guilty by association 99% of the time. What's worse is how you've gone about your 'road to recovery', Rihanna.
First of all, if you were so 'ashamed' of what happened, why were you back in the man's arms weeks later? Second off, why were you photographed with Drake only weeks after that? That's an awful lot of switching beds and paparazzi action for someone who's 'scared and shaken'. I'm not saying that you should have been shacked up for 5 months, but I didn't know getting back on the pony was so easy. Another thing, Rihanna. Why were you so quiet and pensive about everything until now? Your album Rated R is set to be released on November 23rd. I suppose your timing couldn't be more correct. Rihanna, so much of this incident seems skewed in your favor. You more or less traded bruises and Chris Brown's career for publicity. Something about that doesn't seem too 'ashamed' to me. Like I said in the beginning of this letter, I'm not a proponent of domestic violence. Violence has no place in a relationship and shouldn't be condoned. My mother told me never, ever to hit a woman. But if the woman is hitting me, when do I say enough is enough? Rihanna, adding to a destructive double standard shouldn't be the price you pay for platinum plaques, and you know it. It's just sad that a performer much more talented than you had to be a victim of that standard...
8 comments:
Phenomenal, hit the nail right on the head.
Well as far as Rihanna being pictured with Drake or whoever else, people do handle grief differently. You would think a battered and bruised woman would seek solace in solitude but maybe that's her thing.
I do agree that this is the most ridiculous timing. It's so obviously about her album now which causes me to lose some respect for her as a woman (not as an artist because I never really respected her as an artist). Better late than never, though, because like she said girls could die due to her actions so it's good she spoke out at some point.
And I agree that we don't know the whole story. She could have provoked him. Doesn't at all in any way excuse his actions but at what point can we put some of the responsibility on the woman? In America that may never happen.
When would have been a good time for her to speak on the incident? She probably didn't want to speak on it right away. And you know, if you're doing press to promote an album, the questions are going to come up anyways.
Chris Brown isn't a victim of anything. Just putting that out there. I don't mind the kid getting a second chance, but he's no victim. He's not really that much more talented, if at all, either.
Being photographed with people doesn't mean anything. Judgmental, much? You didn't know getting back on the pony was so easy probably because you've never been abused.
Are there questions surrounding her involvement? Sure. And we'll find those out when/if we need to. But you're obviously anti-Rihanna and riding your Chris Brown apologist wagon already.
You seem about as judgmental and biased as the people you're trying to call out. Sad.
@Victor
First of all, when the incident went public, Rihanna and her camp were quick to say that they wouldn't be doing any press regarding it. 6 months later, they're doing the exact opposite. Contradictions all over don't make a solid case in my book.
Second off, I never said Chris was a victim. If you read correctly, I never exonerated him of any crime. I simply questioned what Rihanna's part in the incident was, given her track record of being somewhat of a loose cannon.
Thirdly, men lie, women lie, but cameras don't. Regardless of her status as an abusee, Rihanna clearly wasn't as upset as her camp made it seem if she was back in a club weeks later hugged up and canoodling with Drake.
Fourthly, since when is one party's involvement in a violence investigation completely absconded? The last I checked, the American justice system is supposed to exhaust any and all leads, and/or possibilities surrounding a case. The fact that nothing has been done about her involvement just lends itself to domestic abuse being skewed unfairly in the woman's favor all the time.
Fifthly, its hard to call someone biased when you clearly don't have all of your facts hammered out. No offense, but you should do your research before you call me or anyone judgmental.
She sold out.. basically.
i won't argue whether or not she's using the domestic violence to boost her record sales. but i will address your question of why she was "back in the man's arms a week later." anyway who knows anything about the cylce of domestic violence will tell you that on average it can take a survivor of abuse 7 times to leave an abusive partner for good. going back to him doesn't mean she wasn't ashamed or afraid. a lot of times the fear of what that person will do to you if you DON'T come back is enough to invoke that reaction. (no offense, but) do some research on that.
I feel like she she use her domestic situation for record sales. Now, that doesn't take away from the fact that Chris Brown beat her, but to not to say anything about it until your album drops out seems a little tasteless in my book. Imagine all the women and or men (because it happens both ways)waiting for her to speak up so they could to maybe get that courage to leave, but almost 10 months goes by and now she wanna talk? Hmmm. I'm not down for that.
Ok...
@Junior, thanks for writing this! I really wish I could personally write Rihanna a letter that she would actually read and tell her just about everything you said!
Rihanna was reportedly a jealous girlfriend who was also very controlling...any man who has to deal with that would get sick and tired at some point! (SIDE NOTE: I DO NOT SUPPORT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND IF EVER HIT BY A MAN, I'M LEAVING HIM ON THE SPOT) This however, is not about Rihanna leaving Chris Brown because I believe that it is a good thing that she did leave him. This is why:
If she is going to be jealous and controlling then they are obviously not going to work. Also, if she is the type of girl that is looking to catch her man in a lie by going through his phone then they will not work. Rihanna admits to pushing the issue of the txt message she found in his phone and not letting it go until he snapped! What did she think was going to happen? Did she think that she could continue to nag him until he went back in time and erased the day he started talking to whomever sent him the message? (Pause) So...we can see that they just aren't good for each other. She isn't good for him and he isn't good for her. If he is going to have other girls on the side then he doesn't need a relationship. If she is going to be jealous and controlling then someone needs to get her a puppy.
Ladies, we must understand that we cannot change a man to be who we want them to be. A man will be who he wants to be in some way or another. Watch for the little things. (But, as we have learned from Rihanna, DO NOT PUSH THE ISSUE IF HE DOESN'T WANNA TALK...give it time and cut him off until he sits down and has time to think about the issue...then DISCUSS it!) Also, we must stop allowing a man to play us for fools. If he's with someone else or has gilrs on the side from the beginning, it will not stop! He will eventually revert to his old ways! Watch out!
Instead of blowing up, take time to think and then act. Don't push the issue if he's not listening! You're just wasting your breath and setting yourself up for something bad to come! Be that: saying something you'll regret, doing something you'll regret or making him say/do something he'll regret!
-Just my words!
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