Dear Lil' Wayne (re: Jail Time)

Wisdom can take more forms than you think...

Okay Wayne, this was about to be the funniest, most cynical, most indirectly disparaging letter EVER, until last week when I watched your 'The Carter' documentary with AKZionz and Devin. The documentary gave me a much more clear perspective on your ways, your musical approach and your outlook on life. While I can't agree with the content of much of your lifestyle, the documentary put your unbelievable work ethic and general wisdom in plain view. I must say I'm impressed. That said, I still think it's hilarious that you're going to jail. In fact, I think it's hilarious that most of Young Money is saying things like 'this shit is wack' or 'how can they take his freedom.' It's not like you were caught with automatic guns and hefty amounts of mary jane... TWICE. Even in lieu of that I can't even be mad...

via MTV.com:

Video director David Rousseau said he and the Cash Money team might need to check the Guinness Book of World Records: He and his company Creativeseen may be the new record-holders for most music videos shot in 48 hours. Lil' Wayne was expected to begin serving his one-year sentence on a weapons-possession charge on Tuesday (February 9), and while that sentencing was postponed until March 2, the MC has spent recent weeks manically recording music and videos — and over the past weekend, he hit the latter with a vengeance.

Cash Money chiefs Ronald "Slim" Williams and his brother Brian (a.k.a. Baby, a.k.a. The Birdman) enlisted Rousseau to shoot nine videos for Lil' Wayne during Friday, Saturday and parts of Sunday. The director said he and his crew started setting up for the production around 9 a.m. Friday and the last camera stopped rolling at around 8 a.m. on Super Bowl Sunday.

Reading that was like seeing the school bully at the cathedral praying after school. Wayne, people can and always will hate you. They'll say your music is ignorant and degrading and silly and stupid. They'll say you're a terrible role model (he really isn't a role model in the first place) and that you going to jail is exactly what you deserve. But at the end of the day, those same people are most likely the ones buying your albums and writing about your music and watching your videos. Now that you filmed 9 in the span of a weekend, the haters (I hate using that word) will have their hands full, especially now that you're not going in until March 2nd. Few people truly grind, and even fewer respect it. I suppose when you're as engrossed in repetition as you are, you don't see that....

NBA x Mickey D's

I've never been one for mixing artery-clogging fast food with the peak of physical activity in basketball, but anytime good old Mickey D's hooks up with the NBA, I will be watching. LeBron has, for the last few years, been the face of the league, while Dwight Howard is another recognizable face in what I like to call 'The New School' of stars in the NBA. The same goes for Dwyane Wade. During this past Super Bowl, all three of the superstars were featured in new advertisements. Dwyane Wade was in a new commercial for his sneaker with Air Jordan, while LeBron & D-12 debuted their new McDonald's commercial. This ad is easily drawing comparisons to the Michael Jordan & Larry Bird commercial from the early 90's. Michael Jordan and Larry Bird had distinct personalities and visible chemistry in their commercial. LeBron & Dwight?? Not so much. Regardless, for every kid that pisses their pants upon seeing CGI dunks, this commercial should wet their whistle. Check out the old-school one, too...

Dear Auto-Tune

You were the hottest rehashed new trend in music, and in 2005, T-Pain made every dead funk artist roll over in his grave with your use. Auto-tune, most people have no clue how you work, or where you came from, or even what '808's & Heartbreaks' was, but by the end of the Super Bowl, you were dead. By the time the Budweiser Corporation cashes in from the above commercial, no hip-hop artist will step within 10 feet of you. Okay, maybe T-Pain will fiddle with you some more, but he more or less made himself the spokesperson for hip-hop autotune (sad that we can call it a genre now). Regardless, autotune isn't the first hip-hop fad that went mainstream and then went south. You'll probably end up like phat, kickin, bling-bling, maxin, BALLIN!!, and every other piece of hip-hop lore that got popular: in a VH1 special 5 years later.

To be honest, Jay-Z loaded the gun, but Bud Light shot it through your digitally-enhanced sound. 'Death of Autotune' didn't kill you, though it sure signaled the end was near. As soon as Corporate America saw that a star as big as Jay-Z saying your name in a song, it was on like Donkey Kong. Even if he used you in a song and kept it in hip-hop rotation, they would have jumped on you. Autotune, that commercial might have been the end, yet you gave us some of the most memorable songs of the decade (kinda???). Instead of signaling your death with silence (sorry, Jay), I think it's best to remember the tracks that made auto-tune a trend in the first place...

PS: Ron Browz's career should be in the obituary, too...

Neighborhood Newsletter (2/8)

When they reminisce over you, my God...

How Crack & Rap Stopped Activism In Youth

A Black President Before a Black ‘Bachelor’?

School secretary axed for speaking Spanish

Obama Invites GOP Leaders to Health Care Talk

2010 Super Bowl Ads

Google analyst: U.S. Internet needs to get faster

US Soldier Uses CIA Torture on 4-Yr Old Daughter For Not Knowing ABC's

Botox Inhibits Ability to Understand Anger & Sadness

How to Make it in America

HBO has a knack for airing shows that display the tiniest aspects of the most unheralded and least visited lifestyles. Whether its mob bosses in the Sopranos, vampires in True Blood, or a male prostitute on Hung, HBO shows always have a unique perspective. This bad boy should be no different. 'How to Make it in America' is another Mark Walhberg-produced show (new season of Entourage needs to hurry up) about two fashion designers struggling to make it in the cutthroat design world of New York City. It stars a Dear Whoever favorite, KiD CuDi, and should be a good watch for all of you streetwear afficianados out there. Check out the first episode below...

Dear Sarah Palin

I was not aware that taking interview tips from a high school debate team was the latest in cutting edge political strategy, Sarah. Hell, if I'd known that that's how you end up getting nominated for the Vice Presidency, I would have more notes on my body than Weezy F. Baby. But seriously, Sarah, everything has kind of taken a tragic, yet hilarious spiral since you and Old Man McCain lost to Barry and Joe. It's a foregone conclusion that you're trying to stay in the spotlight and maybe squirm your way into the 2012 election. That said, you haven't really gotten much good press this year. From your daughter's illegitimate child being born, to you joining the evil empire of FOX News, to your war against the word 'retard', to your own property tax woes, nothing you do right now is making me think you even have a shot of knocking Barack off in 2012. After seeing him rally the country's legislature at the State of the Union, and then verbally destroy the opposition, seeing you look at the notes on your hand is terrible. It's like watching Michael Jordan dunk on 5 people at once, then seeing a worse player airball on a layup. Sarah, you'd better get your act straight in the next three years because that was sad. Maybe you should invest in a telepromtper, or even MEMORIZE what you want to say...

Air Jordan 'Nightmares Never Sleep' Commercial

So what if the sneaker itself looks sub-par? So what D-Wade is nowhere near close to getting back to the Finals with that sorry team of his? When Jordan Brand is backing you, it's pretty much a given that not everything is as bad as it seems. Dwyane Wade's signature sneaker will probably be the Air Jordan 2010 (there seems to be a huge hole in the middle of it) and JB has started off marketing their new cash cow the right way. This commercial is ILL. Check out the 'monster' that the Artist Formerly Known as Flash has become...

NBA Midseason Awards

Only certain players can create their own statistical categories...

Okay people, NBA All-Star Weekend is less than a week away, meaning most teams have played about 50 games. Some squads have pulled away from the pack, while others have fallen to ridiculous (even record) lows. Right about now, the players who have impacted their teams and the league the most are starting to shine and it's coming to crunch time with 30 games left. Check the midseason awards and keep it locked for more NBA coverage this week as we get to All-Star Weekend...

MVP

LeBron James



This was a big surprise (sarcasm). LeBron has been cruising this season, and has the Cavs at the top of the East. He's still flirting with triple-doubles and shooting over 50% from the field. King James is the best in the league this year, and everyone knows it. Unless the Cavs have a tremendous collapse, or Kobe wins the 'ship with a broken femur, it's a foregone conclusion that LeBron James will be the most valuable player in 2010, which will only up his hype as we go into free agency...

Sixth Man

Jamal Crawford



This one is also a runaway victory. Crawford has always been a ridiculous scorer, both as a starter and off the bench. It took him signing with the Hawks for the league to really take notice. Craford's averaging 18 points per game (more than Al Horford; should he be in the ASG?) and has his way too many buzzer beaters this season. Any player that makes a team a contender with his bench play deserves 6th Man of the Year...

Most Improved Player

Josh Smith



This one was honestly a toss-up, because it could literally be any player who's seen a progression this year. I picked Josh Smith because he's shown the best improvement and has helped his team the most. Smith finally stopped shooting three pointers, started crashing the boards every game, upped his blocks and developed the mean little 10-15 foot game, all while keeping that mind-blowing athleticism up to par. Dude also posted his first career triple double and ANOTHER Atlanta Hawk who should have made the ASG over Al Horford...

Defensive Player of the Year

Gerald Wallace



Defensive Player of the Year is always one of the hardest awards to give out, since a single player's defense rarely is the difference between winning and losing. Also, defense has soooo much to do with who is around you that players get overlooked or given too much credit. Fortunately for us, that's not the case this year. Gerald Wallace is running away with this one simply because he's a 6'7" forward damn near at the top of the league in rebounding, blocks and steals, and holding down one of the stingiest defenses in the league...

Rookie of the Year

Tyreke Evans



In December, I would have handed this award to Brandon Jennings and called it a day. Jennings hit the rookie wall, while Tyreke has been playing out of his mind. He's scoring effortlessly and made the Kings entertaining to watch. Hopefully Tyreke doesn't hit a wall either, although he's caught the injury bug lately...